Apostrophy Designs: If a Bear Begins Eating You...

If a Bear Begins Eating You...

Today Don received some IMPORTANT information on an impending Scout Camp he's attending about Bears...

"A bear that is looking directly at you and has its ears back feels threatened and is warning you that you are too close. This bear may make a barking or woofing sound to further indicate its distress. And if it pops its jaws, it is an indication that it is very agitated and likely to charge.

Again, the charge may be a mock charge to test your courage and resolve. (And an excellent test it is. If you dont run when a bear charges, you have all the courage and resolve that you'll ever need in this world.)

If the charge is not just a test and you are knocked down, don't take it personally. Understand that the bear is merely attempting to remove the threat that you represent. Also understand that the bear will use just as much force as it believes necessary to remove that threat. This is why staying down and playing dead has been proven to be the most successful tactic to use in such an attack situation. Make it easy for the bear to think it has made its point. Getting back up and/or fighting will just encourage it to show you who is boss.

**Remember the biblical advice: Turn the other cheek while curling into the above-described protective position.

If a bear begins eating you, realize that it is just letting you know that its hunger has overcome its common sense. At this point, you want to let it know by your body language that the lunch counter is not open. Stop turning the other cheek. Fight back with all of your power."


Scout Camp Anyone??

6 comments:

Amy said...

this is so funny. it's not real is it? if it is, surely donnie must have inserted some of his own commentary.

at any rate, hope don doesn't get swallowed by a bear.

TamiJenson said...

we hope don is taking this seriously because we need don in the family... seriously i hope he has alot of fun.

Matt D said...

I have a personal knowledge of Don's resolve when it comes to wild life. Let's just hope he doesn't see any bears. But on second thought Don is also good at not taking things personally so maybe he would get along just fine with the bear. It's a toss up.

Adrienne Hansen said...

don read this to me at work. i was alone in my office laughing out loud so hard! i am praying for don.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the bear advice :) I'll remember that next time I'm hanging out in the wilderness!

have you received your package yet?

katrina said...

I think I would have a hard time not taking it personally if a bear knocked me down.

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