I feel so new to this, naive even. I can't tell how many times I tried to write down in words how I feel, how I've felt. Just on Sunday, we were at Church and someone handed me a piece of paper to write down something about my mother for an upcoming lesson. I sat racking my brain for something to write about my mother and yet I wrote nothing. Later on that night I would learn that my Mother passed away.
And now I need to write something.
My Mom was diagnosed with Scleroderma 19 years ago in June, I was 7. Everything changed, not all at first (at least for me) but eventually we all worked our way through that crippling disease. Her life, our lives, were a steady stream of bad news which we somehow turned into good. An original diagnosis of 5-7 years, turned to 7-10, turned to defying odds. That's how stubborn my Mom was, she fought to see graduations, missionaries return, weddings, and babies being born. She defied odds.
These past few years my sisters' and I have spent our days off during the week taking care of my Mom. I've had several people tell me "Oh, I couldn't do that..." or "How do you do that?" day after day. And I can tell them that I have grown up in the most charitable and giving family that I don't know any different. My Mom who was in extreme amounts of pain on most days, would be the first to ask me how I was feeling before I could even ask her.
My mom was a talented lady and I remembered being so excited when she was making a dress or costume for someone. I would sit beside her and scrounge together all of the scraps of fabric and save them for projects. She even helped me sew curtains for a playhouse that we had in our backyard. Two years ago, starting in October she decided she was going to make blankets for Christmas for all 7 of the married couples in the family. Not only did finish in time, she made one more for my Dad. The next year she made 15 blankets for each of the grandkids, plus other things over the years such as blessing outfits and blankets. I drove her several times to Michael's and enjoy helping her choose colors and patterns.
In all selfishness, I hate that she's gone but I guess it's NO COINCIDENCE that I wrote earlier on Sunday how grateful I am for the Atonement in my life. I have a strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
And hey, I like knowing she's in Heaven out of pain, with her Dad and future Grandkids, doing cartwheels and standing in line for the buffet.
I love you Mom.
19 comments:
I love you, Tor!!
So sorry to hear this, Tori. Your mother sounds like a special woman.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
tori, i'm so SO sorry for your loss. you're in my thoughts.
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman.
Tori, that was sweet! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing, talented, and strong woman. You and Traci are in my thoughts!
I am so sorry for you; losing a parent, no matter how, really sucks! If you need anything, please let me know.
Thinking about you Tori! I'm so sorry you had to drop out. Your mom sounds wonderful.
I just love you Tori! You are in my prayers.
This is a neat post, and you have amazing perspective. We are praying for you guys.
This is Noelle Munson Jones' mother-in-law. Your mom and dad were in my ward when I was young. I think they had 2 kids at the time. I remember your mom as being so beautiful and nice. She was seriously gorgeous! I was so sorry to hear that she has gone. My thoughts are with your family.
What a beautiful tribute. Knowing you personally and what a sincere, giving person you are is a testament to how wonderful a mother she was. My thoughts and prayers are with you often.
Oh Tori, that was so sweet. I am so touched by your tribute (hello tears), and am even more impressed by your amazing attitude. So sad for you and your family, but you are totally right--cartwheels in heaven :)
Love you Tori! You are such a great example and just as caring as that loving mother who has gone on:) I am sure you will miss her, but remember she is always there watching over you.
Your Mother was an amazing woman! I was so lucky to have gotten to work with her for so many year, She LOVED you all so much, and I LOVED her! She truely defied the odds and I will remeber her always!
Tori, my heart has been aching for you and your family. I loved your mom. I thought she was amazing. She was always involved with your life even when she had days that she stayed in bed. I remember sitting on her bed as we talked about different boys at school or what our plans were and it was normal...her illness NEVER defined her! I was so impressed with your family at the funeral - your mom definitely fulfilled her mission here on earth as she leaves a fabulous legacy. I love you Tor.
I've read this post probably once or twice a day since you wrote it. Ice felt so sad this week--I didn't get a chance to know your mom real well, but I feel like I've gotten to know her through things you tell me and from just knowing you. I'm sorry that all this is so hard; it's been hard to think of you being so sad and your whole family, too. I wish there was something I could do that would help you feel better but I guess there's not too much really. I know for certain that it's ok to be sad.. I remember when we put our dumb dog to sleep and you were there for me, even though you don't like dogs! That really meant a lot to me. I think the world of you, and I'm so glad you're in my family. Just remember that I love you and Josh does too, and so does our whole family. If you need anything, call me. Like I said before, I'd do anything for you because I know you'd do the same for me. Love you Tor.
Tori, this is such a sweet post in honor of your mother. She sounds just wonderful. Sending you many and thoughts, and much love and prayers!
Tori, I am sorry for your loss. Your Mom sounds like an incredible lady. Sending prayers for your family your way.
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